I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
