I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
