did you get engaged???
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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