it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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