I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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