the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So much rum. So many feels.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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