I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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