he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Randomize
