he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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