I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
