well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What drink are we having for lunch?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
