somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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