Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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