so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
