At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You can't just leave with hair like that
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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