he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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