Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
