When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
