Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
