i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
