Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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