I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you had me at cake vodka
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
