Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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