Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
