butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
