I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Panties = found
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
