doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
