I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
well you can't waste a boner
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
