Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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