note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize