it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
