dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
