it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
