Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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