he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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