I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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