In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
