I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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