but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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