There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
