i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
