They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
