Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
