I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
