he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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