is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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