the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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