ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
