You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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