I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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