I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
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Mom said you looked used
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
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You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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