Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
