is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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