Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
This can only be settled by a dance off.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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