Pants 0. Shit 1.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
