It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
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Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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