she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
