Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
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I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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