Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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