I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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