Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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