yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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