Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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