We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Drake has all the answers
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
