Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
