I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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