Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
