I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
