Will you blow on my dice?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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