I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
