maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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