David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Damn victory sex feels great
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
