I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
