I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
